Of Monsters and Men
by aly.lynn122
Summary: Because the only thing she sees in this monster is a reflection of herself. What she can become. What she has become before. Might become again.
1. Chapter 1

Natasha isn't sure when she sees it. The mild-mannered doctor, travelling the world in a dusty suit curing diseases for free, has a dark side. A wolf beneath his sheepskin.

It hits her in the face when he yells at her.

 _Stop lying to me._

In a voice that wasn't human, a voice too otherworldly to be explained. A voice with green eyes and green fists and an anger problem. A cornered monster.

And for one of the first times in her life, she is scared. She is terrified.

Because Black Widow can take on any man. Odds are always on her side. There's always skill in her corner. She doesn't rely on things as stupid as luck and prayer. She relies on herself, because she is the only one she can trust.

But this. This monster. She can't fight. This beast will kill her. She could try to hide. She could try to run. But her vision would inevitably end in a haze of green.

Because the only thing she sees in this monster is a reflection of herself. What she can become. What she has become before. Might become again.

But Bruce Banner is something all together different. A cornered monster raises its head, raises its voice, rips at the seams. But it's all for show.

He gets what he wants, exposes her for the liar she is, sees her for what she is. Another cornered monster.

And he smiles.


	2. Chapter 2

He isn't what she expects.

He is worse.

Anger bubbles beneath his surface, a pool of magma waiting to blow.

And he is better than her.

He shuts the room up. Gives them something to focus on. Gives them a common enemy. Whether it's intentional or not, it works.

 _I got low._

One step back.

 _I put a bullet in my mouth. And the other guy spit it out._

Another.

 _I was good. Until you dragged me back into this freak show._

And then he looks at her. Eyes wide. Wild. A blink away from madness.

And he sees her. Sees _her._

Her monstrosity. Her sheepskin. Her ledger. Dripping red. One drop away from madness.

And though her hand flies to her gun. Though she sees Fury do the same. She knows. She knows.

To crave power. To want the power to change things for yourself. To be so drawn to it, you are barely aware that you are chasing it.

Until the staff is in your hand and a room full of friends have their safety off.

 _Dr. Banner. Put down the spear._

And he looks. Surprise on his face. Horror. Knowledge that his sheepskin is slipping. The cornered monster bulging beneath its flesh prison.

He sees her, and she sees him. A man lost. A man battling his own conscience. A man who holds the most powerful weapon in the world, and is afraid to wield it.

A man who hopes that a spear from space, with unknown properties, might be the secret to controlling the monster inside him.

He can't die. _He can't die._ And for an adversary, that should frighten her. Something she can't defeat.

Still. He can't die. Her potential enemy can't die. And she is glad for it.


	3. Chapter 3

He's ripping.

Natasha is trapped under rubble, and Bruce Banner is ripping.

The barely contained monster snaps at her false promises, her pointless reassurances.

Who is she, to promise he would not be caged?

All it would take is a single slip for her to wind up caged beside him.

But her monster can be controlled. Her monster does not flow through her veins and rip her skin and crack her bones.

Her monster does not remake her. _She_ remade _it._

But that doesn't help the monster beside her. Childish platitudes and false prayers for things beyond her control do not satisfy this monster.

So, Bruce Banner is ripping.

And the thing beneath his seams rears it's head, turns on her with laughter.

 _Your life?_

As if her life is worth something. As if her life means anything to this green beast sprouting beside her. 

As if Bruce Banner thinks his life is anywhere near hers in worth.

The monster groans, and looks at her with such unspeakable agony. It knows. _He_ knows. Because looking at her is not a monster, but the simplistic green eyes of a lost Bruce Banner. A drowning man in a devil's body.

Then, he is lost. Lost to the anger and the fear and the fire that burns his skin. Lost to the pain of being remade. Lost to her.

And now, for the first time in fifteen years;

Natasha knows what it is to be powerless.


	4. Chapter 4

Clint is out, knocked cold on his ass by something with a mean roundhouse kick.

Bruce is lost.

Thor is probably dead.

Coulson is most definitely dead.

 _Coulson is down._

And Natasha wants kindness. The child in her heart wants a hug and reassurance and for this to all be a bad dream.

The monster in her laughs and says she has known worse.

And the woman in her wants a soft voice with warm brown eyes.

 _Coulson is down._

She wants Coulson. She wants her handler. She wants to sit down with him at Clint's farmhouse and watch him interact with the kids he never got to have.

She wants to rest.

So, she gets up and goes to report back for duty, hiding a limp and a broken rib and something much more painful than both of those combined.

Just like always.


	5. Chapter 5

He's back.

Riding in on a broken down bike with borrowed clothes and borrowed dignity.

But he's back.

And it's not the Captain he looks in the eye.

It's her.

 _I'm always angry._

A threat. An explanation. A challenge. An admittance. A dare.

A prayer.

A plea whispered to an empty room in the dark of night when nothing and everything surrounds you.

 _Don't make me do this._

And it's her. Her own words, echoed back straight from the only other monster she has ever known.

A monster born of human cruelty and childish prayers and false hopes and broken dreams.

A monster that answers those prayers and crushes those dreams and lifts you from the rubble to tell you that you have known worse.

But this time, they have permission.

 _Let me do this._

Permission to fight and spill blood and roar and be the monsters they are.

And all at once, just as Bruce Banner learns what it is to be wanted, Natasha learns what it is to be accepted.

 _I'm always angry,_ he says,

 _You've known worse,_ the monster says.

 _I've seen worse,_ she says.

And they were right.


End file.
